I recently watched The Fault in Our Stars (yes I cried!), and I left the movie theatre with the realisation that we don’t spend enough time telling our friends and family just how much they mean to us while they’re alive. Without giving too much away, one of the characters is dying so they want their friend to write and say their eulogy to them while they’re alive. I really loved this idea because it meant that their friend could say how much that person meant to them and how much they loved them, and the dying person was able to hear it before they died.
To try and take a positive from a negative situation, it could be said that people who die from a degenerative disease could be fortunate in the sense that their family and friends around them are given a warning, and an opportunity to express how much that person is valued and loved in their life. Where as, with freak accidents and sudden deaths, that opportunity isn’t always there.
But why is it that we wait until death is at the doorstep to say how we really feel about our friends? I think if we used the lifetime of our friendships to continuously express how we feel, then there wouldn’t be a risk of losing the ones closest to us without them knowing what their friendship meant. After all, isn’t that what life is all about, loving others, and being loved?
I’m big on love languages, and knowing how to best show love to others in a way that they respond to the best. But I also think, that just because someone may not be big on the ‘Words of Affirmation’ love language, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it should be overlooked and undervalued. There is beauty and empowerment in words of encouragement and positivity. Surely it would be better to die knowing how much people loved and appreciated you, than to have no idea at all?
You don’t need to make an elaborate speech of all the reasons why you love having this person in your life, it could be as simple as “I appreciate you, and I love having you in my life.” Genuine statements of love and appreciation are spoken from the heart with truth and honesty. When I was 10years old I stole $20 from my younger sister's purse, *gasp*. So I had to say sorry to my sister and Mum told me I needed to “say it (sorry) like you mean it”. This is the same for words of affirmation; when not spoken from the heart they seem fake, and ‘put on’, like you're only saying those things because you’re expected to, or because it’s the ‘right thing to do.’ Words without truth and meaning are lost, they don’t really have any effect at all, so if you’re going to tell your friends you love them, do it right, and do it from the heart.
Maybe it’s because I really appreciate words of encouragement/affirmation, but I am definitely all for telling people how much they mean to me. I see birthdays as an opportunity to tell the ones closest to me how awesome they are, and how much I love them. But it doesn’t just have to be birthdays, you could just be thinking of the person one day and decide to flick them a text. There’s nothing better than getting warm fuzzies from a cute text one afternoon as you’re walking home from Uni!
So don’t wait until your friends' funerals to express how much you love and appreciate them, tell them now! Pick up your phone right now, send a text or call your closest friend! I dare ya! There’s joy to be had in passing on love and appreciation to others. Be the friend you would like to have!
1 Comment
Lorraine Maffey
16/7/2014 03:29:38 pm
Love it, sweetie.
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SASKIAI am a daughter of the King, a passionate expresser of positivity and a lover of lists, food and creative expression. Archives
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