<![CDATA[fleeting moment collections - Life]]>Fri, 26 Feb 2016 13:49:36 +1300Weebly<![CDATA[WHAT'S ON YOUR HUSBAND RESUME: MARRIED MEN]]>Wed, 09 Sep 2015 22:05:10 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/whats-on-your-husband-resume-married-men
So now we have the final blog in the Wife/Husband Resume series! It's been so interesting reading the answers and noticing differences between married vs single and men vs women. Have another looksie at the previous blogs if you want to see for yourself. x
--------------------------------------------
What would you consider to be the most important qualities in a wife?
Maurice: Honesty and trustworthy would be right up there as the most important qualities to any relationship, but especially in marriage. A good communicator (and not just someone who talk lots) is important, as a relationship requires both communicating your own thoughts and as well as listening to the other person. Someone who is compassionate and forgiving (but not a pushover), and knows how to have a laugh.

Mervin:  A loving/caring heart; an ability to almost know you better than you know yourself. Someone who is your best mate and you can do life together with. Being totally honest and open about everything and having nothing to hide.

Marcell: A best friend.

Maximus: Kind, caring, considerate, loving, honest with integrity. Most important that she loves God above everything else.

What would you consider to be the most important qualities in a husband?
Maurice: I think the same qualities apply for the husband, as it does for the wife. Honesty is the best policy and being a good communicator works best when both the husband and the wife have these qualities.

Mervin: Same as the above but also being able to provide for the family and to step up and be the man/head of the home.

Marcell: A best friend.

Maximus: One who loves as Christ loved, who would lay down his life for his wife and family. Respectful, honest, with integrity, able to protect and provide, most important that he loves God above everyone and everything else.

What have you learnt the most about yourself since being married?
Maurice: As a guy, it’s often hard for us to open up emotionally; however one thing I’ve had to learn was being able to discuss my thoughts with my wife in order for her to understand how I’m feeling. It was very difficult, but it is important for any relationship to understand how the other person is feeling.

Mervin: That I'm most certainly not perfect. - Life’s better with two. - I'm pretty much a stallion.

Marcell: To think about your spouse other than yourself.

Maximus: It is extremely easy to be self focussed and expect to be served rather than serving my wife and family. If my relationship with God is not healthy my relationship with my wife will likely be as well.

What type of life advice would you give guys who are getting married?
Maurice: Learn to open up, saves a whole lot of drama!

Mervin: Always live for the other person, putting them first ALWAYS. Keep God at the centre. Just get in there. Put a sock on it.

Marcell: Life is not a bed of roses and marriage is a decision.

Maximus: A beautiful woman is far more than outward appearance, appearances can be fleeting, look for the qualities mentioned above.
]]>
<![CDATA[WHAT'S ON YOUR WIFE RESUME: MARRIED WOMEN]]>Thu, 03 Sep 2015 05:48:44 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/whats-on-your-wife-resume-married-women
A while back I asked a bunch of single guys and girls a whole bunch of questions related to marriage, such as what they consider to be important qualities in a husband or wife. This week I have answers from the married women! Enjoy! 
-------------------------------------------------
What would you consider to be the most important qualities in a wife?
Beatrice: Give him the chance to be a hero. Let him help you. Women these days are strong, which is a good thing, however we need to be vulnerable too. Men love to look after their women. Make sure you notice and appreciate them, they love to be told "well done" and saying thank you and that you appreciate them goes a long way. Respect him, don't put him down. Smell nice, men love the smell of shampoo and perfume.

Cordelia: A wife should be understanding and a good listener.

Josephine: A wife needs to know what her husband’s needs are and be prepared to put those needs above her own.   She should be self-confident, knows who she is and the value she brings to the relationship. There are too many outside influences that go from east to west.  A women who does not know her value, or where she is heading in life, will be tossed about from here to there.  Before a women gets married, she should already be independent, have goals and be enjoying a wonderful spiritual walk with God.   Getting married to her life-long partner should enhance these qualities.    A wife should bring to the relationship a greater depth to her husband’s life in his spiritual walk, his life goals and general well being.  Get rid of the “what about me?” syndrome.  There is no “what about me” in a partnership.

Winifred:To be respectful. Guys always want to be respected, which doesn't mean you can't have a say in any decisions, just means you have to find a way to portray your ideas or thoughts without tearing him down. Obviously that goes in hand with honesty. Just learn "how to be honest" But don't forget things like fun and good sense of humour. Guys aren't good at being serious all the time hahah.

What would you consider to be the most important qualities in a husband?
Beatrice: Let her know you love her. Women need to hear it a lot, but what actually helps a woman feel loved is when men do little random things that let her know they have been thinking of her. It can be as small as buying her favourite chocolate bar or leaving her a love note or sending an unexpected text saying they're thinking about her. Encourage her in what she is good at; give her an opportunity to shine. When she has had a tough day wrap your arms around her, let her know she is safe.

Cordelia: A husband should be a good friend and should stand up for his family.

Josephine: A husband needs to know what his wife’s needs are and put those needs above his own.  He needs to show good quality spiritual leadership in the home.  Not just saying it but living it.  Being the example he should be to the kids and someone his wife will be proud of.  Similar to above, a husband should be confident in his spirituality, know who he is and his value in life.  He should also be able to bring to the relationship a depth to his wife’s spiritual walk, her goals and aspirations. Supporting her in these areas is necessary for her to feel valued and respected.

Winifred: Being honest. But also being caring/loving. Remembering the small things without being told or asked. It's those things that make me fall even more in love with my husband because I know he's thinking of/about me and my needs, and it keeps me in check and aware of his needs too.

What have you learnt the most about yourself since being married?
Beatrice: That I like having someone who adores me and I love to see his response when I tell him the things I love about him. I'm learning to not be so independent and to let him help me when I need it. I've learnt I sometimes have the ability to bite my tongue and keep it to myself when he drives me crazy. I have learnt that I still have a lot to learn about myself, as I get used to the different way he does things compared to the way I do them.

Cordelia: I’ve learned to become humble and discovered my weaknesses as a wife.

Josephine: That it’s all not about me!  There are two of us in a partnership both equal and both valued. That by attending to my husband’s needs, my needs are also met.  When I married, I was under no illusion that it would be a dreamy ride here on in.  It was going to require effort, to grow the relationship, to keep it real and to honour God with it.  Life is definitely not about me – and that goes against the general trend in society where we are actively encouraged to make sure I am looked after, that I am happy, that I have my needs met.

Winifred: It's hard work. But when you truly learn to put your husbands needs before you're own it... hmmm i dunno how to explain it. It just feels right. And you become closer. But that's something I really had to learn how to do, without there being a selfish motive.

What type of life advice would you give girls who are getting married?
Beatrice: Do you know how he reacts in a conflict? Will you be able to handle him being in your space a lot of the time? Don't give up on who you are and yet be flexible enough to let him be who he is. Encourage often. , learn to love those who are important to him and teach him about those who are important to you. Relax and don't sweat the small stuff. Be honest about when you are struggling and love him when he is struggling. And most important bring it all to Jesus and let Holy Spirit guide your conversation.

Cordelia: To have a healthy relationship it is good to establish friendship, trust, honesty and have a foundation in God. Each person must have unconditional love for the other.

Josephine: Do a self-check on yourself – are you confident in your spiritual walk with God?  Are you self-assured, confident in who you are as a person?  Are you confident your intended partner is who God has for you?  How do you know?  Does He meet your expectations or are you thinking he will do and you can change Him?  - You can’t.  You cannot change the character of a person.  And why should you?   Always remember by meeting his needs, yours will be met also.

Winifred: Learn your husbands love languages! And practice them. Chances are you will have different love languages but learning to show him love in his own way is really important.
]]>
<![CDATA[WHAT'S ON YOUR HUSBAND RESUME: UNMARRIED MEN]]>Thu, 20 Aug 2015 22:15:44 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/whats-on-your-husband-resume-unmarried-men
#husbandme
Following on from last weeks blog 'What's on Your Wife Resume: Unmarried Women', where I asked a bunch of single girls their thoughts on marriage, I have the single (not married) boys this week! It's super interesting to compare the two perspectives between guys and girls! Next week I will have the married women and the week after, the married men! 
---------------------------------------------------
What can you personally bring to the table when it comes to marriage?
Floyd: I want to bring as much Jesus as I can. I want to make her know how much He really loves her. How He would care and speak to her. How He would lay down His life for her and continuously reminding her of who she is. Encouraging her to step out and being by her side when she's nervous to do it alone. Comforting her when she needs comfort and encouraging her to go towards Him. Speaking truth over her and continuously pouring into her. Anything that I bring that doesn't point to Him should be removed and anything that does should increase.

Frank: When it comes to marriage, I bring my good looks and fun personality. Nah, in all seriousness… Growing up my parents weren’t married, and I wouldn’t want to take anything from their relationship…so growing up I had to find other couples who had good marriages that I wanted to learn from and take advise from (YES, even as a teenager I did this, You are never too young to gain experience in this area). A great place to get marriage advice is number one; from Gods’ word (The Bible) secondly a great place is from people who are in church. Since I have taken notes regarding marriage, I don't think I will ace it but I think it will help.

Fabio: Being joyful is part of who I am. When it comes to marriage there is nothing more to be asked than being who you truly are. In the future, when I engage my potential wife I would love to create an environment full of peace and freedom. Joy really cuts through stress and brings breakthrough.

Boldness is another personal trait that I can bring into marriage. When challenges arise, fear is something that does not take over me at a large degree. My faith in Jesus brings me absolute security and love. When I experience that love from Him I believe it will flow on to my future wife and encourage her to overcome struggling situations.

What types of qualities do you think are important for you to have as a future husband?
Floyd: The motivation, determination and vision that Jesus has for us. He loved us so much that He laid down His life for us even before we were made worthy. Ultimate love and ultimate sacrifice. Anything that He carries, I want to carry. Anything that He doesn't have, then I don't want it.

Frank: As someone’s husband I need to be a role model, a spiritual leader and be able to lead my family in the ways of the Lord. As a husband I need to believe the best in my wife and honour her even when it hurts and acknowledging when I am wrong.

Fabio: Honouring your wife constantly is a huge quality that I believe is important to have as a husband. When disagreements arise, it is very easy to undergo a relationship of disconnection. Honouring you wife involves going low and saying “even though this hurts, I am going to still choose and pursue you because I love you”. This establishes connection and brings freedom.

Putting your wife’s needs above yours is essential. Entering a place to listen to your wife and really trying to understand her point of view is important. For myself, I am always eager to put in my opinion in to the situation immediately without even thinking about others. Having a heart to listen and acting what you have learned is important.

Communication is another quality I think is important. Simply this…. ASK! Ask questions! Get to know your wife even more and ask how she is doing. How is she dealing in this situation? By asking, you are establishing connection and learning how take on challenges effectively together.

What types of qualities would you consider important in a wife?
Floyd: Similar perspective to the husband. You can't expect to take in relationships, but all you can do is give. If you give, and they don't reciprocate then you can't force them. They have to be willing to give. If they carry the same vision, then they will also want to just love how He loves us. It'll probably be tough, but it will work out awesomely if the culture is created.

Frank: Good cook, know how to clean... I joke! I use to think I wanted a wife who wanted to be a preacher and all of that but... the more I get older the more I just want a wife who loves God and loves me. A wife who brings out the best in me and I in her. A wife who encourages me and supports me... and a wife who is not afraid to tell me when I am wrong... I find that pretty hot actually.

Fabio: I believe loyalty is an essential quality to have in a wife. In thinking about my future wife, I would love to have the security that she will always be there for me when I need it. I would love to know that I could trust her with anything.

Grace, as a guy I do so many dumb things. I can sometimes be hurtful and I reckon having a wife who looks at who I am truly and calling that out is essential. Having a wife who is hungry for Jesus and can direct me into place where I can seek Him ultimately to grow and see His love. 

Can you think of any areas you know you will need to work on before you get married?
Floyd: Yupp, many. But ultimately I want God to write my story. He's stripping me down and removing what He wants to remove. It's painful but at the end of it, it'll be worth it. It's because she's worth it. At the end of the day, she has to know that she is worth the struggle and the pain. If God says wait, then I'll wait and if He says go then I'll move forward. I'll follow His lead because He knows what's best for me and her. He knows her heart better than she does and I just have to partner with what He wants because she deserves what He wants for her.

Frank: SOOOO MANY! I am nowhere near ready for marriage. I desire it but I am definitely not ready. In fact, I urge young people to not get married too quickly. I think about many couples I use to look up to growing up, who got married young and are not together anymore for whatever reason, and so I just encourage young people to make sure you’re not just getting married because your horny. WAIT, be patient and know that God has the perfect person for you.... IN HIS TIMING!

Fabio: Humility is an absolute area that I need to work on. I have a tendency sometimes to boost myself up. I love community and making people laugh however, at times it can be quite full on and all about me. I would love to work on putting others above me and lifting them up instead. Ultimately, God is going to do my lifting and all I need to do is follow Him.

I would also love to become a better listener. I would love to understand people views and feelings and be able to encourage them. I love to help others but sometimes I can miss the point/aim of what they are struggling through and my input could be not as supportive in their situation.

What do you expect marriage to be like?
Floyd: I'm looking forward to it. Being with your best friend all the time, creating memories together and discovering who God created them to be and encouraging them to step into that. I know it won't be easy and it'll be messy at times, but if God's at the centre of it all then He can help us bless, love, surprise, forgive, discover and cheer each other always! It'll be fun if we make it fun smile emoticon

Frank: A lot of sex!

Fabio: Many will say that marriage will be challenging and I believe it will be. However, I choose not focus on that. It is an exciting time, full of love, passion, joy and unity. It is a time where families are united and where new families begin.

I think it is going to be fantastic, to see my potential wife everyday, to have the choice everyday to love on her is amazing. To be a witness of my potential wife’s journey in life and to see her grow and reach her dreams to the full.

In all honesty, it is going to be one heck of a ride but one that I look forward to.
]]>
<![CDATA[WHAT'S ON YOUR WIFE RESUME: UNMARRIED WOMEN]]>Wed, 12 Aug 2015 11:07:50 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/whats-on-your-wife-resume-unmarried-women
#wifeme
I’m going to be honest here, every time I cook a roast or perfect a medium rare ribeye steak garnished with caramalised onion and topped with garlic butter (that's what I cooked last night, just saying) - I think to myself – and often out loud to the girls too – “Man I’ll make a good wife one day”. It’s like I think that if I can cook well then it means I’ll make a good wife! Of course I’m joking, but then it made me wonder what we actually consider to be important qualities in a wife and a husband. So I've decided to ask a whole bunch of married ladies and men, and unmarried guys and girls on what their opinions are! So today I have the unmarried girls' answers! 
---------------------------------------------------------------
What can you personally bring to the table when it comes to marriage?
Kim: Fun, food and a great bum.

Khloe: My ability to love unconditionally and my natural responsibility.

Kourtney: I’m a great encourager, I love to have fun, and according to my personality type I’d make a great lover...But in all seriousness, I bring wisdom and maturity through personal experience and also just through observations of my close family and friends. I have a strong relationship with God and make that the focus in my life. I make great food too - the way to a man's heart is through his stomach after all...

Kylie: Personally I feel I can bring nurturing qualities like warmth, empathy and sincerity. I have been through quite a lot in my life so far, so I feel like I have had a lot opportunity to grow in maturity and in faith. I feel like the things I have learnt through my past experiences and the maturity I have gained from them is also something I can bring to the marriage. I also love to cook so I think that is great thing to bring as well!

What types of qualities do you think are generally important in a husband?
Kim: Lover of God, Fun loving, some kind of leadership skills and a great sense of humour.

Khloe: That he continually chooses to love me, supports me, honours me and points me towards God.

Kourtney: He seeks to understand me and he pursues God with passion and hunger even during bad times. He knows how to have a laugh and has a sense of adventure. He respects me and is willing to have the hard conversations or discussions with the goal of creating a healthy marriage. He puts me first. He adores me. He isn't afraid to be vulnerable. He isn't afraid to be goofy and put himself out there. 

Kylie: I think it is important for the husband to be a good spiritual leader of the household. This means leading his wife down Godly paths doing all that he can to help her grow in her relationship with the Lord. Being the head/leader of the household doesn’t mean that he has any power or dominion over his wife though because it has nothing to do with that. It has everything to do with love and a male’s God-given natural leadership qualities. Men should love their wives as Christ loved the church - Jesus is gentle, selfless, caring, and unobtrusive yet discerning, strong and loyal (just to name a few of His awesome qualities!!), so this is how men should be with their wives. I also think it is very important for the husband to be open and honest about everything with his wife.

What types of qualities are important for you to have as a future wife?
Kim: Godly, teachable, servant hearted.

Khloe: I think always choosing to love my husband, honouring him, supporting him and pointing him towards God.

Kourtney: To be willing to learn and seeking to understand. Placing God at the centre of everything. Unconditionally loving, and pursuing healthy conflict rather than avoiding it. Respecting my man and speaking into his identity rather than tearing it down. 

Kylie: For me as a wife, again, I think it is really important to be open and honest about absolutely everything - no secrets. I also think that it is important to respect your husband and the fact that he is the head and the spiritual leader of the house - this means trusting your husband’s opinion.

Can you think of any areas you know you will need to work on before you get married?
Kim: I definitely know that I need to learn how to be taught better - learn that it's ok for someone to point out things that I need to work on for the sake of growing and being a better person, and it's not about feeling 'got at' its about me being the best version of myself.

Khloe: Yup although I think it’s always a journey and there are always things to work on. We don’t become perfect before we get married. Learning to balance life so that God is always first (although I’ve noticed an improvement in the last few weeks). Communicating more with my man when making decisions. Getting better at his love languages that I don’t particularly understand.

Kourtney: For sure! I know that I definitely need to work on how I deal with and approach conflict. I think it’s something I will be working on my whole life, but if I can learn how to get better at it now, it won’t be as hard later. Learning how to have the hard conversations is important - rather than holding back I need to be more willing to speak truth and actually say how I feel. 

Kylie: I definitely need to work on being less selfish and more selfless. When you become married you enter into a partnership and are no longer a single entity. I think it is really important to realise that you now need to care for the needs of someone other than yourself. I think you need to be open to compromise and to choose to put your spouse’s needs before your own on a daily basis. Another area I need to work on is vulnerability. I think being vulnerable with your spouse is one of the most important areas of marriage. You need to be able to tell your spouse anything and everything. To be vulnerable is a really hard thing to do but once you get to that point with your spouse, you begin to develop a much deeper level of trust and understanding of each other.

What do you expect marriage to be like?
Kim: I expect it to be first and foremost fun! I expect there to be laughs, new challenges, adventures, and great memories. I also expect it to be like any other relationship or friendship - hardships, hang ups, hurts and just all round hard times. I expect to grow with whoever I marry, and be an epic team together, doing more damage than what I could ever do on my own!

Khloe: Rewarding but not always easy. As I said earlier I think it’s a journey and there’s always things to work on. I think a partnership and unity of two people seeking after God’s purpose in their lives.

Kourtney: A rollercoaster ride! Sometimes it is going to hurt so much, and then other times it’s going to be a big love fest. There will be a lot of sex and a lot of fights – that hopefully are worked through in a healthy way and with a focus on God and on pursuing shalom (completeness).

Kylie: I expect marriage to be a journey of discovery. It is a time to discover more about yourself, more about the person you are spending your life with, and also discovering truth about God and how He displays His love through your marriage. I expect it to be really fun and exciting at times but also really challenging at others with plenty of opportunity to grow within yourself, your marriage, and in God.
]]>
<![CDATA[FORGIVENESS: IT'S NOT JUST FOR THE OTHER PERSON]]>Fri, 31 Jul 2015 05:18:27 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/forgiveness-its-not-just-for-the-other-person
“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a permanent attitude” – Martin Luther King Jr

How does forgiveness usually work? I do something wrong to you, I feel bad about it, I ask for forgiveness, you say I forgive you, and then that’s it, I’m off the hook?

Not quite.

Forgiveness is “the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well”.

So forgiveness not only allows the person who offended or wronged to be released from their wrong doing, it also allows the person, the forgiver, to be set free from any bitter feelings or a negative attitude they have, it allows them to heal.

Recently I read that forgiveness means “giving up my right to hurt you for you hurting me”. When we choose to forgive other people in our lives it releases us from those wrongdoers, and allows us to heal. Whether those people in our life have asked for our forgiveness or not, it doesn’t matter. We can’t control other people, we can only control ourselves.

When we don't forgive the people who hurt us most it’s so much easier to act out in ways that tear others down and destroy rather than build. For example, when we are acting out from a place of offense, disappointment, emotional hurt, fear, or distrust this affects how we react to people or situations, and may result in us hurting the people we love and need most.

Forgiveness isn't always easy. Especially when the person you need to forgive has deeply cut you, when the wound is gushing, or when the scars are still fresh. But forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did is justified, or okay, it doesn’t mean that you have to trust them again, and it doesn’t mean that you can forget everything and pretend that it never happened. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart, from destroying your soul.

It is one thing to forgive, but it is another to remain at peace with your decision to be released from those feelings. As Martin Luther King Jr said above, forgiveness is a permanent change in attitude. Don't hold grudges; don't bring up times of wrongdoing that have already been dealt with in the past during times of current heartbreak. The past is the past. You can’t change the past; you can only change the future. Forgiveness will bring you peace, we just need to be sure to truly let go and move on.

Forgiveness is actually such an important process to go through in order for ourselves to truly heal, so we are able to walk in God’s blessings, rather than being burdened by bitterness and negativity. So I encourage you to forgive the person that has hurt you, to let yourself be free from the burden on your heart, to be at peace, and to deal with it and let it go. It will look different for everyone, you may need to tell the person that you forgive them, you may need to have a conversation with them, you may need to flick them a text…whatever it looks like, I encourage you to do it. Freedom is waiting for you!  x
]]>
<![CDATA[ARE YOU USING YOUR GIFTS?]]>Thu, 23 Jul 2015 04:38:08 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/are-you-using-your-gifts
Some of my long time readers may remember that I took a break from blogging every week over summer from January till February. My intention was always that it would be a temporary break, for me to rest and recuperate while on holiday, and that’s exactly what the break gave me the chance to do. However, as it got closer to Uni starting back I began to feel apprehensive about starting blogging again, as once I started I was committed to posting something once a week, every week.

And then I was inspired.

I learnt that God hasn’t placed the gifts inside me for myself necessarily; they're there for others too.

Here I was thinking my blog was all about me, that I did writing for myself. When really that wasn’t true at all. I don't write for myself. I write to be read. And I think that’s why I have this writing gift (if you want to call it that); to be able to write about different topics and share my perspectives in order to challenge my readers and get them thinking about everyday (and not everyday) issues, situations, and life lessons.

So now I want to challenge you!

What gifts do you have that you aren’t using, or aren’t sharing? Are you actually doing anything with your gifts? Just like a skill where the more you practice the better you get, it’s the same with our gifts too, the more we use them, the more developed they will become.

Think about it. If you used your gift (whatever it may be) to touch a different person’s life in some way or form each week for 6 months, that’s 24 people. And then what if those 24people ‘paid it forward’ and used their own gifts to touch other people in their lives, and so on. If you do the maths that’s a huge amount of people being touched all because one person chose to use what God gave them.

There is no gift so small that it will go unfelt by those it touches. There are no small gifts. Each person has something to offer. It’s just a matter of if you use them or not.

So think about what you're good at! What do you have to offer the people around you? And start using it! The more you use this ‘muscle’ the more it will be strengthened and developed. Remember, you don't necessarily have your gifts for yourself; they're for other people too!
]]>
<![CDATA[IS CHURCH A DRESS-UP COMPETITION?]]>Fri, 17 Jul 2015 00:15:05 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/is-church-a-dress-up-competition
“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
- Samuel 16:7 NIV
As a kid growing up we had our normal clothes, and then we had our church clothes. We were taught right from a young age that we were to save our best for church. As time has progressed things have been stepped up a notch, and now there’s make up involved. I subconsciously make more of an effort on Sundays when it comes to make up nowadays. I might even step out and grab the eye shadow! But lately I’ve been wondering what the point of it all is. Is it really necessary for us to look significantly better on a Sunday, or can I just wear the same amount of make up I would normally wear during the week?

Put it this way, if you are always at your up most best every Sunday is anybody really going to see the real you? Or are they just seeing the made-up you? And besides, we aren’t at church for other people; we are there for God. Like the verse above says, God looks at the heart not the outward appearance. Church isn't a dress up competition, it’s a time for us to come together as one congregation and worship our Father.

Don't get me wrong, we don't all have to come to church barefaced and wearing flare jeans and baggy tops. It’s nice to look nice. It’s nice to put an effort into your appearance. It’s nice to give your best to God. But I think there's a balance to be had between looking nice and looking NOICE (if you know what I mean). Nobody expects you to come to church having spent an hour on your outfit and make up, just come as you are. Be confident in who you are. You don't have to look a certain way or dress a certain way. Come as you are!
]]>
<![CDATA[IS IT STILL SWEARING?]]>Thu, 09 Jul 2015 00:08:00 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/is-it-still-swearing
Majority of all Christians are aware of the commandment in the bible ‘do not use the Lord’s name in vain’, and swearing among Christian circles isn't exactly encouraged. You have your classic swear words that are universally known to be inappropriate or categorised under ‘swear words’ in the English vocabulary. So any words or phrases such as ‘God’, ‘Lord’, or ‘Jesus’ are off the table, but what about the words that aren’t exactly swearing, but still are used in the same context or with the same intentionality?

There's a bit of a blurry patch within Christian circles as to what is alright to say and what isn’t when it comes to strong language words or phrases. For some phrases it’s as if we are saying words that sound like a swear word, without actually saying the swear word itself. For example, there’s shizz, shiitake, shiza, mushrooms, bull, fudge, fire truck, and mother trucker. And then you have the other ‘alternatives’ such as frick, fricken, heck, beach, bish, jeez.

It could be said that perhaps if we are using these alternatives to swearing in the same context as if we would use the swear word itself, then maybe it’s just as bad. After all, we are pretty much swearing, without actually swearing. And then you have the other side of the coin where the swear word isn't actually being used so some would argue that it’s fine to use the alternative words

To add to this even more you have the words that have slowly become more and more accepted in human vocabulary that for some it’s confusing as to whether they're even classified as offensive words anymore. Words like hell, bloody, piss, dick, holy, arse, damn, and ‘a female dog’ (I’m not even sure if I can use that word in my blog?!), have become more and more used in every day language, even John Campbell used the word ‘bloody’ on national TV!

And to top it off I’m going to ice this cake with the hand signals. Is pulling the finger still classified as a form of swearing in Christian circles? Is it still offensive? Is it still considered inappropriate? Just throwing a spanner into the works there.

I think anything, whether it be words or actions, can become the norm if we use them often enough. Whether they start out as a joke, or as an intended offense, the more we use them, the easier it is to form a habit, and the harder it is to break.

As Christians we are meant to be in the world but not of the world. For me personally I want my words to build up rather than to tear down or lead astray or offend. It’s a personal conviction thing as to which words I choose to use, or not. However, I am of the opinion that if alternative words are used in the place of a swear word, in the same context, and with the same emphasis, then they're most likely just as bad, I’m not trying to tell you what you can or can’t say, that’s up to you to decide. Just a bit of food for thought. x
]]>
<![CDATA[IDOLISATION OF THE 'ELITE']]>Thu, 02 Jul 2015 00:50:54 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/idolisation-of-the-elite
You may have heard of them, you may even follow their Instagram accounts or liked their pages on Facebook; ‘Celebrity’ worship leaders, pastors, and the ‘faces’ of large Christian movements. It’s almost unavoidable to have internationally acknowledged churches or church bands without some form of public identification or ‘fame’. But how far is too far when it comes to these church ‘celebrities’? Is it necessary for us to follow all these peoples’ personal social media accounts? I mean I'm not going to lie, it is interesting to see the life behind the person on a stage, but am I just being nosey, is it really necessary for me to know how many children they have or what their outfit of the day is?

I think it’s time we took responsibility for these so-called church ‘celebrities’. I mean these aren’t labels they’ve put on themselves, we are the people who follow their Instagram accounts, we are the people who create the hype and commotion surrounding specific churches, we are responsible for putting these churches and people on pedestals.

I think the danger lies in the way we see these people and these churches. Everybody has a personal and unique relationship with God, and it becomes unhealthy when we begin to compare ourselves to the people on the screen. For example, some internationally acknowledged worship leaders are quite well-known for being free in the way they move while they are worshipping, but does that mean if you don’t throw your hands in the air (like you just don’t care – had to add that in there) then you don't have as much freedom as they do, or you aren’t as close to Jesus as they are? No. Freedom for you will look different to what freedom means for another person. Your relationship with Jesus doesn’t have to fit a specific mould, it doesn’t have to look a certain way, you don't have to say specific words, you don't need to be anybody but yourself, it’s between you and God.

Idolatry is defined as the extreme admiration, love, or reverence for something or someone. Basically it’s when we treat something or someone as God when they're not. I think we need to be super careful about how we look up to famous or well-known church leaders. Historically, a lot of church leaders only became ‘famous’ because of their relationship with Jesus. Being well-known by all was never their goal, being known well by Him was. The goal for us isn't to be more like these well-known leaders, it’s to be more like Jesus, he is our model, and he is our mould. The only person we should aim to make famous in this world is Jesus.
]]>
<![CDATA[NOT LETTING EMOTIONS CONTROL YOU]]>Thu, 25 Jun 2015 01:35:57 GMThttp://fleetingmomentcollections.weebly.com/life/not-letting-emotions-control-you
I’m an ESFJ in the Myers Briggs Personality Test, which correlates to Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling and Judging.  One of the characteristics of an ESFJ is that they deal with things according to how they feel. This isn't necessarily bad thing, but it’s something that can sometimes get the better of me.

Recently I’ve learnt that other people don't have the power over me to make me feel bitter, upset, angry etc. I’ve learnt that it’s up to me whether I choose to let other people affect me, and whether I partner with negative emotions. Emotions aren’t something that can control me or my actions and behaviour. If I keep letting my emotions rule over me, there's no way I’ll ever be the person I was meant to be. It would be unhealthy for us to get rid of our emotions completely, but it’s important to learn how to manage and control them, and not let them control us.

I’m learning: that it’s important to understand why you feel the way you feel.
There are so many reasons as to why we feel certain emotions. Scientists have classified feelings into 8 basic different emotions: joy, acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger and anticipation. For example, if we feel jealousy, this can be because we have fear- fear that we aren’t as good as the other person, or fear that we’ll be abandoned for not being ‘perfect’.

I’m learning: that feelings are unreliable.
Feelings don't always tell you the truth. You might feel that nobody understands you, but that doesn’t mean that it’s true. You might feel that everybody is talking about you behind your back, but that doesn’t mean they are. You might feel that you're being ignored, but maybe they just didn’t see you. You might feel like she’s super angry with you, but she was just distracted when she was messaging you. If we want to be mature, disciplined people then we need to be determined not to live life according to what we feel, but what we know to be true – and if we are unsure, then talk! Communicate with the other person rather than just assuming that they feel a certain way.

I’m learning: to explore all the different possibilities.
I’ve learnt that just because someone does something bad, it doesn’t make him or her a bad person. It’s really important to be able to take a step back and look at a person’s actions and recognise why they do what they do, and why it makes you feel a certain way. Nobody is perfect, and nobody is going to be able to please everyone all the time. It’s so important to look at situations and scenarios from different angles and not to react straight away.

I’m learning: that emotions don't just randomly appear out of nowhere.
There are always deeper reasons as to why we feel what we feel. It’s super unhealthy to just ignore or suppress emotions, and not actually deal with them. When we start ignoring them they just build up and start controlling our behaviour; we say or do things we wouldn’t normally say or do.

I’m learning: that I need to take ownership of my emotions.
I need to actually admit to myself (and others) when I’m not doing so well rather than just act like I’m doing fine all the time. I think the positivity in me just wants to be happy all the time, and when I am going through something I don't like being down for too long. But I’ve learnt that it’s super important to give yourself time to be sad, or to just feel what you need to feel. It’s actually healthy. I’m allowed to have down days. I’m allowed to not be happy all the time.

I’m learning: to walk in the truth instead of my feelings and emotions.
Emotions make us feel like we need to do something, and do it right now. But when we take a moment to stop and re-evaluate we gain wisdom and clarity on our situation. Reacting with anger, offense, or bitterness only distorts how we see a situation or a person, but when we look at the situation through a ‘truth’ lens we are able to gain a better perspective to base our feelings on. 
]]>