Recently I’ve learnt that other people don't have the power over me to make me feel bitter, upset, angry etc. I’ve learnt that it’s up to me whether I choose to let other people affect me, and whether I partner with negative emotions. Emotions aren’t something that can control me or my actions and behaviour. If I keep letting my emotions rule over me, there's no way I’ll ever be the person I was meant to be. It would be unhealthy for us to get rid of our emotions completely, but it’s important to learn how to manage and control them, and not let them control us.
I’m learning: that it’s important to understand why you feel the way you feel.
There are so many reasons as to why we feel certain emotions. Scientists have classified feelings into 8 basic different emotions: joy, acceptance, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger and anticipation. For example, if we feel jealousy, this can be because we have fear- fear that we aren’t as good as the other person, or fear that we’ll be abandoned for not being ‘perfect’.
I’m learning: that feelings are unreliable.
Feelings don't always tell you the truth. You might feel that nobody understands you, but that doesn’t mean that it’s true. You might feel that everybody is talking about you behind your back, but that doesn’t mean they are. You might feel that you're being ignored, but maybe they just didn’t see you. You might feel like she’s super angry with you, but she was just distracted when she was messaging you. If we want to be mature, disciplined people then we need to be determined not to live life according to what we feel, but what we know to be true – and if we are unsure, then talk! Communicate with the other person rather than just assuming that they feel a certain way.
I’m learning: to explore all the different possibilities.
I’ve learnt that just because someone does something bad, it doesn’t make him or her a bad person. It’s really important to be able to take a step back and look at a person’s actions and recognise why they do what they do, and why it makes you feel a certain way. Nobody is perfect, and nobody is going to be able to please everyone all the time. It’s so important to look at situations and scenarios from different angles and not to react straight away.
I’m learning: that emotions don't just randomly appear out of nowhere.
There are always deeper reasons as to why we feel what we feel. It’s super unhealthy to just ignore or suppress emotions, and not actually deal with them. When we start ignoring them they just build up and start controlling our behaviour; we say or do things we wouldn’t normally say or do.
I’m learning: that I need to take ownership of my emotions.
I need to actually admit to myself (and others) when I’m not doing so well rather than just act like I’m doing fine all the time. I think the positivity in me just wants to be happy all the time, and when I am going through something I don't like being down for too long. But I’ve learnt that it’s super important to give yourself time to be sad, or to just feel what you need to feel. It’s actually healthy. I’m allowed to have down days. I’m allowed to not be happy all the time.
I’m learning: to walk in the truth instead of my feelings and emotions.
Emotions make us feel like we need to do something, and do it right now. But when we take a moment to stop and re-evaluate we gain wisdom and clarity on our situation. Reacting with anger, offense, or bitterness only distorts how we see a situation or a person, but when we look at the situation through a ‘truth’ lens we are able to gain a better perspective to base our feelings on.