I was recently at a wedding and during the reception I looked over to the table next to me to see that literally every person was on their phone. Snapchat, Facebook, texting boyfriends and girlfriends, Instagram etc. Here we were, at the most beautiful of venues, celebrating the beginning of a new marriage; yet not one person could put their phone down and be present in this moment, to talk to the people around them, or to just take in the moment through something other than an iPhone lens.

If it’s not recorded in some form of social media communication, it didn’t happen right?

I’m all for capturing moments, emotion and atmospheres through footage and photos, but there comes a point where you just need to put down your phone/camera and just breathe it in. These moments in our life are fleeting, they come and they go. But it’s our responsibility to be present in those moments, to really be there. We’ll never have those moments again.

While I was living in Vanuatu one of my ‘mottos’ (if you want to call it that) was “live the moment you are in to it’s fullest.” I didn’t want to spend the entire 6 months looking forward to December, when I would return home and see all my family and friends. I really wanted to make sure I was focussing all my energy, all my attention, and investing that into the people that were around me. As a result of doing that, I created deep bonds with the Ni-Van people around me; they became my family. If I had spent hours on the phone to my family back in New Zealand every night, I would have missed out on the bonding with my Ni-Van family playing cards, making each other laugh, and just doing life together. 

There have been a countless number of times I've been hanging out with friends and looked around the room only to suddenly realise that we are all on our phones. Here we are communicating to people outside these four walls through technology, when we could talk to the people around us, face-to-face.  When we stop focussing on ourselves and our own wee bubble, and start focussing on those around us we are able to invest into those peoples’ lives - forming connections, friendships and just doing life together.

Being present doesn’t just include putting down technology, but it’s also about putting aside our thoughts, and listening to our friends. Instead of thinking about everything I need to buy at the supermarket after this coffee, I should be giving my full attention to my friend that is pouring her heart out to me and needs some support. When we do this, not only does the other person benefit from our attention, we do too. We get to support someone, learn something knew about that person, and to really love them.

Put your phone on silent. Turn it over so you can’t see it light up. Or even better, leave it in your bag (or pockets for you boys…unless you own a man bag…which is totally fine…). Mentally focus on the person/people/situation/event in front of you. Give your full attention. You might be surprised at the people you find yourself meeting, and the details you’d never noticed or known about someone before.

Be present.

1.    I really wish I never went to the gym
You are never going to regret going to the gym. Of course it’s hard to motivate yourself to go for a 30minute run on the treadmill, or to do 20 burpies, but your body is going to love you for it, and you’ll look baben too!

2.    I wish I never got up at 5am to see the sunrise
Who doesn’t love watching creation being awakened on a new day to the cinematic colours of pinks, reds and oranges. However, I guess you would regret getting up at 5am if the sunrise was a no show…

3.    That full day studying at the library was such a bad idea
As much as I hate to admit it, I am most productive in my study when I am not in my bedroom and away from the distractions of the pantry, the fridge and the endless cups of tea. It seems strange as I write it, but somehow being in a room full of strangers who are all doing the same thing as me keeps me accountable, and more importantly, decreases my Facebook surfing time.

4.    I wish I never got braces
Braces aren’t amazing; I of all people would know this. I was fortunate to only have to endure a metal mouth for 1 year and 9 months, but those 21 months were not without their hardships and difficulties. My braces accompanied me as a bridesmaid, at my 21st, and at every other one of my high school friends' 21sts too. So you could say that we were pretty attached to each other… haha that was a super lame joke. But anyway, braces are worth it, your smile will love you for getting braces. So if you’re considering getting braces and you actually need them, like actual, and you can afford them, then go for it!

5.    I really regret watching the Rugby World Cup final in 2011
Hello!? Of course that was the most stressful game of rugby I’ve ever watched. And yes we did only win by 1 point… but WE WON!! I actually wasn’t living in New Zealand when I watched this game, but I made the big haul from my village in Vanuatu on an outer island into Port Villa to watch the game at a pub! I walked 45minutes down a hill, took a 30minute boat ride, and 1 hour truck ride to get into town… just to watch the rugby. And it was SO worth it!

6.    I really wish I didn’t spend most of my money during my OE 
Even though I returned to NZ with hardly any money I wouldn’t regret the $ I spent doing fun activities and on the travelling I did around Vanuatu during the 6 months I lived there. I got to go scuba diving, canyoning, caving, and so much more! I actually spent a decent amount of money on buying stickers for the kids I taught at school too, which was so worth it because the school couldn’t afford to give them stickers on a regular basis. So it was quite a privilege for the students.

7.    I wish I had stopped going to church 
Although this may not be true for everyone, for me, I have never wished I had stopped going to church. Especially since going to University I have found that going to church, getting involved in church, and making friends at church, is so much more important to me now than what it was when I was 16, and I think I’m a lot happier because of it too.

8.    I wish I had never learnt how to drive a manual 
This is just my personal opinion, but I think it’s really beneficial to know how to drive manual cars. Because I learnt how to drive in my trusty Holden Barina GTI I feel like I have a better understanding of gears and how the car works, it probably helped having an ex-mechanic for a Dad too. When you know how to drive a manual, you can drive an automatic easy, however, not vice-versa. Get my logic?

9.    I wish I hadn’t squeezed that pimple that wouldn’t go away 
This definitely doesn’t apply to every pimple situation, some pimples are just not meant to be squeezed. But there’s always that one pimple that has been there for over a week and it’s just not going away! You say to yourself, “I’ll be good and not squeeze it, no matter how much I want to.” But then another couple of days go by and it’s still there! So you give it a squeeze and what do ya know, in the next couple of days it’s disappeared. It’s like it was never there! I think the trick here is to know when to hold out, when to go for it and when to let it be. Who thought that pimples could be so complicated!

10.    I wish I had spent more time on Facebook
This is kinda ironic because the link to this blog is posted on Facebook. But let’s get real, Facebook takes up WAY too much of our time! I was recently looking at some of my first statuses when I first got Facebook, way back in 2009. I noticed heaps of people posting on my wall things like “Welcome to the world of Facebook, careful it’s addictive!” And guess what, way back in 2009, those people were right! I could go into so much more about this dangerous ‘world’ of Facebook... but that’s a whole nother blog post to talk about isn’t it!! I’m just going to say it… Facebook is 90% of the time, a waste of time. Boom!

The brilliant William Shakespeare once said “Better three hours too soon, than one minute too late,” and I fully agree with Ol’ Wil here! My family has a reputation for being late to events, but being late in general for life has its consequences. There are regrets, disappointments, and unfulfilled dreams. So if we started saying and doing things before it was too late, then maybe we would finish life satisfied at all that we had achieved. 

1.    Tell that person how much you love them
This is an obvious one, yet somehow we still haven’t quite figured it out. We don’t spend enough time saying how much people mean to us. Don’t be afraid to be an expresser of your emotions. For all you know, that person may feel the same, and was just waiting for you to say something first. Tell that person before they end up with someone else, before they move cities, or before they pass away.

2.    Learn how to parallel park
Women have a reputation for being the worst parallel parkers, and to be completely honest with you, I probably would agree. I have seen some hideous parallel parks in my day, but I’m thankful for a father who taught me well. Ladies, learn how to parallel park! Think of all the parking opportunities you're going to be missing out on because you would rather park vertically!

3.    Go on an extended overseas adventure!
Seriously, it’s not going to always be as easy to go travelling when you're older (and maybe have a family). While you’re young, go travelling! I know a handful of people who say that they are going to do their big OE when they get married, that’s cool, but what say you don’t get married till 30, or don’t get married at all (SHOCK HORROR!). Life is now, it doesn’t begin when you get married, and plus, who says you can’t have two OEs anyway!?

4.    Start exercising
It’s actually a lot harder to motivate yourself and have enough energy to exercise if you are overweight. Just because you aren’t gaining weight now, doesn’t mean you won’t later! By getting into good exercising habits, you’re setting yourself up for a healthy lifestyle and decreasing the effects of natural weight gain with age. Don’t wait until you have increasing weight to begin exercising! Start now!

5.    Go to your favourite artist’s concert or to that music festival you love!
Festivals and bands don’t last forever. Example: Parachute Music Festival. If you really love a particular band or artist, go to their concert! For all you know they might not return to your country, or they could split, retire or go on a hiatus, and you may never get to see them live in concert again! Don’t regret the opportunities that come your way, some of them really are once-in-a-lifetime.

6.    Stop being angry
Sometimes we get angry over insignificant situations and people, but is there really any point? I mean sure there are situations where it makes sense to be angry. But holding onto that anger and refusing to forgive the ones that hurt you the most doesn’t achieve anything. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive

7.    Stop crushing on the girl/guy that is never going to feel the same
Let’s be honest, if they’re never going to like you, then you are really just waiting your emotions on someone that will never return the feelings. What happens if a really great guy or girl came into your life but you never noticed them because you were too busy pining over someone else?

8.    Go skinny-dipping
While you are young and carefree, go skinny-dipping in a public place with your friends! According to my research, (yes, it was funny), younger people seemed more willing to skinny-dip in public places with their friends than older people. But that’s a generalisation, I’m sure there are always going to be exceptions. I definitely know people that will most likely still be skinny-dipping in older age, as they do now- you know who you are ;)