We subconsciously seem to search for the negatives or the differences in people and situations. We notice when someone has a massive sharkie sticking out of the hair, but never when their hairstyle is effortlessly awesome! But what would happen if we started looking for the things that are ‘positive’ or ‘cool’ about a person, rather than the fact that they filled in their eyebrows with a gingery colour today instead of a nicer ash blonde.
As I sit here looking around the University library I could focus on the fact that a particular person dropped a little bit of their sandwich on their lap…or that they have a really nice top knot hairstyle that probably took 30minutes to construct and deserves to be appreciated and acknowledged. Or I could focus on the fact that that guy is discretely picking his nose…or that he has really nice smiley eyes when his friend makes him laugh.
I can guarantee you that for every positive thing you can point out in a person there will be an accompanying negative factor that you could look at too. The trick is to not look for those negative things, but focus on the positive, the cool, the things worthy of identification and appreciation.
For me this can be quite hard because I am naturally quite an observant person. I notice everything. Okay, maybe not everything, but a lot of things. So I need to choose to ignore anything that would be considered negative or unnatural about a person, and focus on the beautiful and the things I appreciate. Lets face it, almost everyone gets pimples, everyone has bad hair days, and everyone has ignored those dishes that are being stacked higher and higher in the kitchen. But acknowledging those things aren’t going to make you or that other person feel any better. When your flatmate does the dishes, make sure you say thank you and appreciate what they have done. When your friend is wearing a coloured top that they really suit, tell them! If your friend completed a personal best in a 5km run, congratulate them, who cares if you got a better time than them, they completed a personal best!!
Stop becoming used to the beautiful and the normal; stop looking for the negative and the unusual; and start striving for the overlooked and the undervalued. The world will be a better place for it!