GIRLS
According to WikiHow, some of the signs of a girl liking a boy is if:
- She gives him random hugs (only to him)
- She regularly accidentally bumps into him
- She flirts with him
- She looks at him for long periods of time and then quickly looks away when he catches her eye
- She licks her lips when she is around the guy
- She teases the guy
- She stands/sits close to the guy
Would you say that those signs of interest are accurate?
Mystique: Yeah some of them, like flirting, looking at him lots, stalking on Facebook probably. Definitely the random hugs as well, and the girl would be really obviously touchy feely around the guy as well.
Wonderwoman: Yeah for sure, I’d definitely be guilty of some of these. Totally depends on the environment I’m in, and how well I actually know the person. A couple of them are probably more ‘high school’ though.
Mrs Incredible: Ha! I’m such a teaser and I do try to be near the person…but wouldn’t go so far to bump into them ‘accidentally’.
Kim Possible: I would say the majority of those yes. I do the hair flick stuff, but not really the licking of the lips.
Catwoman: Depends on what age of woman you're talking about. I think they're quite accurate on the whole though.
Supergirl: I reckon most of them are pretty accurate for most of the girl population! I can really tell when my gal pals are crushing/liking a guy because I see a lot of that Wikihow stuff happening. For me personally when I like someone, I definitely get my flirt on haha. I sit/stand close to the guy, probably stare at the guy longer than I should and look away really flustered when they catch my eye. Not really sure if I’ve gotten to the point of licking my lips cause that sounds creepily seductive haha but I do bite my lip a lot which probably isn’t any better!!
Storm: No
Batgirl: Yes I would say they are accurate, they’re pretty obvious signs of interest.
How would you show a guy, or act around them, if you were interested?
Mystique: Maybe I’d want to get to know them first. But sometimes I just don’t talk to the guy I’m interested in. I’d probably look at the person quite a lot as well. I would talk or text him a lot as well if I had the guts.
Wonderwoman: Again, probably depends on how well I knew them. Potentially do the whole ‘make up some totally unsubtle reason to hang out’ thing. Or accidentally on purpose somehow end up standing or sitting next to them all the time, and act really confused and surprised as to how that happened. Then strike up some awkward conversation.
Mrs Incredible: Like I said I’m a bit of a teaser if I know they can handle it…I would have a chat with him and ask questions
Kim Possible: I would probably be myself but more bubbly and giggly, and get a little touchier; I would show them more attention than other guys that were in the room.
Catwoman: Lately I've been thinking that I prefer to be pursued, so I just be myself, I don’t see any point in putting myself on the line, so I won’t fight for him. I’ve done the whole pursue the guy thing and it’s just lame.
Supergirl: I act really shy around guys that I’m interested in (so I am told!), and I either hardly talk or I blurt out really random topics of conversation. But when I finally build the confidence to talk more to them I end up texting or messaging them heaps, and hang out with them way more than any other boys.
Storm: I’m the type of person who likes to take the time to do things for people, whether it’s spending quality time with them or simply buying them a coffee. I would also be interested in what’s going on in their everyday life.
Batgirl: I would pay more attention to them and make an effort to talk to them. I’d smile at them, try and catch their eye, be affectionate towards them, try and make them laugh, and see how they respond, and I’d do things for them.
What types of things do guys do that make you think they may like you?
Mystique: If they're quite touchy and always looking for you. Like if you're in a group of people he would deliberately single you out and come over to you. He talks to you a lot.
Wonderwoman: I’m pretty naive at times and convinced most guys want to be ‘just friends’. Giving compliments and doing nice things for me is a good clue. Actually making ‘a move’ is normally a give away that they’re pretty keen.
Mrs Incredible: They like all your statuses/photos/ and texts messages you asking how you are and come and talk to you when you see them.
Kim Possible: When they reciprocate the flirtiness that you were giving them. If you could blatantly tell that they were giving you more attention than other girls, when they text you lots or give you more attention. Like when you can tell that they're overly excited to see you.
Catwoman: When they give you a lot of their time, so like, make it obvious, like “How was your day”. Like a text or something, or in person.
Supergirl: Honestly, the thought that a guy could ever like me rarely crosses my mind… but when I do feel like a guy may like me, it’s mainly because they’ve shown some sort of interest in me. Asking to hang out, or flirting with me; touching and hugging more than usual. Or when they take the time to text/message me first; direct conversations even when we’re hanging in groups, or if we have a good DnM. The compliments too!! Oh, the compliments. That’s a big confusing mind boggler. I can never tell if they’re just being nice, or if they’re flirting with me. My goodness boys are confusing sometimes. That’s when I start to question if they potentially like me or not.
Batgirl: They pay attention to me, and laugh at my jokes. They’re interested in what I have to say, and they look at me a lot.
What type of qualities do you find attractive in men?
Mystique: They're in a relationship with God, they're tall, they can sing. Not muscular, but just like fit. And really great eyes, I really like green or blue eyes. Mostly if they're funny or kind, that’s what I would go for, and trustworthy and loyal.
Wonderwoman: I have a pretty long (and somewhat ridiculous) list hidden somewhere on my phone… but the basics, they should be up for a decent yarn, be a bit witty, yet charming, outgoing and happy, up for an adventure… just being generally nice, and yeah being attractive always helps… oh I could go on.
Mrs Incredible: I definitely have a ‘type’ of guy I find attractive…tall, brunette, rough stubble beard and a big smile…but a happy and fun personality definitely makes any guy 10x more attractive.
Kim Possible: Definitely someone who knows who they are, and is secure. Like not someone who is insecure and, but someone who has good self-knowledge. Someone who is really fun and has an awesome sense of humour and doesn’t take anything too seriously but is enthusiastic about life. Intelligence, it doesn’t even matter what their hobby or sport is, but that they are succeeding in whatever they do. If they're musical or sporty its like “oh baby”. I like it also when someone can be cool and hold themselves, but can also be a dork too.
Catwoman: Self-motivated, organised, driven, independent, a hobby of some sort, like they need to have something that they do for them. They also need to be positive too. He needs to adore me. And I also like it when someone dresses nice, but it’s not a big deal.
Supergirl: Physically, I find that I’m always attracted to tall boys with a slim build, and nice hair and a decent fashion sense. But personality is key! I am really attracted to guys who can make me laugh, don’t always talk about themselves, and even more so the mature guys who know when to be serious and when to be fun! Also, a guy who is a big softie at heart, has a passion for something and pursues it (whether it is a career or hobby), and loves spending time with family is such an attractive feature. I also really appreciate a guy with good film and musical tastes, and plays instruments or sings. Basically, someone who has similar interests as me.
Storm: To be honest I’ve never really thought about it. I think a man who is honest and trustworthy is a big thing, they also have to be kind, caring and think the world of me. Oh, and they would need to have a good sense of humour!
Batgirl: I like nice guy with a sarcastic sense of humour. Someone who likes to do lame but funny things to just have a laugh. Intelligence, and that they can have a good deep conversation and express their true feelings. Their smile, a nice jaw line, a friendly attitude towards others, an optimistic attitude towards life, likes the same kind of music and is humble and genuine.
What are the turn offs or deal breakers for you when it comes to guys?
Mystique: Shorter than me, non-Christian, people who smoke and do drugs, and cheaters. I really don’t like arrogance; I really can’t stand arrogant people.
Wonderwoman: Yeah, there’s a list for this too… no smoking, they’ve got to get along with friends and family, respectful towards others, they’ve gotta be a one woman man.
Mrs Incredible: I have this bad habit of ignoring/tolerating potential deal breakers when I like a guy…oops
Kim Possible: Definitely arrogance and cockiness, if they’re up themselves it’s unattractive. Immaturity- they can’t look after themselves, or they can’t look after you, or like the things they say if they're immature. If they're negative people, or cold, I like positive people who are fun to be around. If they're disrespectful to other people, like how they treat their mum or family.
Catwoman: Cockiness and arrogance, cockiness is like when they’re real up themselves, and arrogance is like when they always have to be right. Lazy and self-absorbed people too. Someone who can’t take a joke too.
Supergirl: My guy has to genuinely love me for who I am, respect me, and someone who is on fire for God and can spiritually challenge and bring me up to the same level or higher! Also a guy who makes me feel special and like I’m their only girl!
Storm: I find constant bad language unattractive! That’s one thing that comes straight to mind.
Batgirl: If they are rude to me, or if they don't appreciate me. If they’re judgemental or acting like they are better than others.
What are your thoughts on flirting? Is it acceptable, is it wrong, or is it okay to a certain point?
Mystique: It’s okay to a certain point. But if you're quite over-the-top, it’s not really attractive. If it’s like banter or occasional touches and hugs then I’m okay with that. You want the guy to be interested in you though, and not in other girls.
Wonderwoman: Go for gold I guess, you’ve gotta make it pretty obvious to guys sometimes. I think in your mind, you have standards and know what is acceptable, like even in a relationship a bit of harmless flirting isn’t all bad; it definitely depends on who it’s with, and how it’s going to be interpreted. There’s definitely a grey area around what ‘flirting’ is actually defined as, keep it respectful but have a bit of fun with it I reckon. Just be mindful of giving mixed messages or leading people on, you don’t want to hurt anyone in the process.
Mrs Incredible: Totally!!! You’re not gonna get anywhere by sitting around wondering if he likes you…but just remember that there is a line…you don’t wanna go making a fool of yourself or changing who you are just to impress them.
Kim Possible: I think it’s okay to a certain point, if you are being respectful to yourself and the person you're interested in, or if you are getting to know someone with intention, it’s okay. As long as you're not compromising your morals or theirs.
Catwoman: I think it’s okay if you know they're treating you like that and nobody else. When you find out that the guy is doing that to other girls it makes me annoyed.
Supergirl: I think flirting to an extent is somewhat acceptable and kind of fun at times! But over time it gets a bit tiring and disappointing if nothing actually happens. A lot of the time I’m never 100% certain whether a guy is flirting with me because he likes me or simply because he’s just a massive flirt, which is kinda confusing. It especially hurts when you find out that they just want to be friends, but keep on flirting ahh!! Reminds me a bit of your flirtationships post from a while back! If a guy wants to truly pursue me I am all in for a bit of a flirt hah!
Batgirl: Flirting, hmm… it’s okay I guess. It’s human nature; it’s our mating call I guess. Haha. We flirt to see if we get a response from someone. But I think flirting isn't good when you use it selfishly and the other person is hurt because of that.
GUYS
I looked at WikiHow ‘How to Know when a Man is Attracted to you’, and it said that a guy will show his interest in a girl when he:
- Looks for any excuse to be around her
- Tries to impress her
- Flirts with her
- Gets jealous when she is with or hugs other guys
- Acts like a gentlemen around her
- Stares at her for a longer than normal period of time
- Is always looking for an excuse to touch her, like a shoulder pat, or standing close etc.
- Regularly compliments the girl
As a guy, would you say that WikiHow’s answers are accurate?
Batman: I would have to say that the majority of these points are indeed correct. When a man likes a wāhine, the mission of achieving reciprocated feeling begins. He will try to impress, do all he can to spend time with, even shower and hunt for his deodorant for a wāhine. The thought of being on her mind is what fuels these actions.
Captain Planet: I guess it varies from person to person so it’s hard to say yes or no. For me two things stick out: the jealousy one - because you know you have feelings for someone if you don't want anyone else to have them. The other one is always looking for an excuse to touch them, because touch is intimate and to share that with someone you’re interested in is special.
Starlord: For the most part they sound about right, especially if I don't know the person very well.
The Flying Mexican: Yes
Captain Underpants: Yes
Thor: Well it does sound like some of the kind of things that guys stereotypically would/could do, but a generic list can’t cater items that apply to every guy. There are times where items on this list would/should appear in good friendships across genders, i.e. acting like a gentleman, and giving compliments. On the other side, I’ve seen guys that like a girl, and treat them completely the opposite. So basically, there you have a list of ways that some guys sometimes use to show some girls they like them, maybe.
Professor Claw: They are true for the most part, but I don't think that those things are 'created' for the girl they just ‘put on’ more. For example, a guy doesn't become a gentleman when he sees her, but he acts more like it when he is around her. Haha but if you like her, then you see her differently. The way that you see her will determine your actions - am I looking to get something from her vs. am I looking to give her the true reality of her identity.
If you liked a girl how would you show her, or how would you act around her, if you were interested?
Batman: I would aim to portray the qualities of a gentleman: kindness, gentleness, generosity (time and $$$), respect, creative consideration and to be interested as well as interesting. I also believe that focusing/complementing on the little things, such as pretty eyelashes or their chosen style of hair can go a long way.
The Flash: I think the easiest thing to pick out is I will find any excuse to speak with this girl, due to my social nature this would be hard to pick out, but I definitely think sometimes I go out of my way for a girl.
Captain Planet: I struggle with this sort of thing; some would call me an awkward flirter/lover. I either blurt out my feelings too early and make it semi awkward or get too nervous to talk to them, it’s not very often that I manage to bust out a smooth move.
Starlord: If I were just interested in a girl I would try and create more opportunities to see her and interact with her. If I started to like her then my actions would likely reflect that; naturally spending more time with her, respectful physical touch, make her feel special... Just generally devoting my attentions to her more than others and being more intentional.
The Flying Mexican: It depends how intentional you’re going. I would give her gifts. I would find out her interests and give her drawings of her favourite animals- sometimes I do cute, and then other times I do realistic drawings. Definitely get real flirty as well. Like heaps of joking, and a bit of physical contact.
Captain Underpants: I’d probably still act the same. But after a while I would slowly change the way I spoke.
Thor: From my point of view, I’m not particularly forward with showing a girl I like her. I find myself trying to be more like a good friend, rather than anything that could be perceived as obvious. I’d be likely to offer to help her with things (over and above what I would normally do), try and spend time with her, and ignite or sustain conversation with her. I’m cautious, and try to have more of a long-term view on things, rather than just being attracted to someone and jumping in as soon as possible so that you don’t miss out on any of the fun; I want a girl that likes me for me, not for what I have to present to her to win her over.
Professor Claw: Haha I was challenged from God by this last year! I try and treat everyone like the girl I would be interested in so I'm not putting her on a platform - so I would try and treat her the same. But I would hang out and get to know her more if I was interested. I would want to discover the potential inside of her that I can take out... but that also applies to everyone else I see haha!
What type of things do girls do that make you think they like you?
Batman: I can be rather naive and oblivious at times, however actions such as regular initial contact in real life and online might get me thinking. Also if the wāhine is keeping the conversation alive, that might be a hint. I am rather clueless/poorly experienced for this question.
The Flash: They will begin to show interest in things I’m interested in regardless of how boring they could be, or just finding reasons to talk to me or spend time with me. Being complimentary towards things I do; it could be normal things such as catching a ball and it all of a sudden sparks a “wow you’re really good at that” type comment.
Captain Planet: More eye contact in conversation and what seems like general interest in most of the things I’m talking about, also when I ask them out on a date and they say “yes” – that’s always a good indicator.
Starlord: Sometimes it's just the little things, like the way they look at you or if they're talking to me a bit more than usual. Other times you can just flat out tell behaviourally that she fancies you, flirting etc.
The Flying Mexican: Touching, or any kind of random shoulder tap, or back rub. Like there’s no other incentive for her to touch me, so that would make me think they liked me. Heaps of texting and contact, like “Oh what are you up to?” Sometimes like if they're really nervous, or awkward laughter.
Captain Underpants: I feel like I’m too oblivious. Whatever floats your boat? I don’t have time to muck around.
Thor: Well sometimes they tell you. That’s usually a pretty good sign. Other than that, I‘m not that great at identifying signals. If I do notice signals, I often talk myself out of it, and over analyse, and think I’m noticing things that don’t exist. It’s not until after the fact that I realize how obvious it was. There are some of the stereotypical girl signals like being overly giggly, touching, and compliments. But much like the male equivalent at the top, they don’t reflect every girl accurately. I can’t say I would be 100% sure from my own experience how a more mature girl that wanted a serious relationship would show it to me. There are always things to learn.
Professor Claw: I honestly have no idea! I'm really oblivious and don't think that much of it sometimes!
Haha, even thinking about this, I can't think of anyone who may have shown interest. Either there is no one, or girls just suck at making their intentions known to guys.
What type of qualities do you find attractive in a woman?
Batman: I used to tell my mates that I would like a wāhine who likes tramping, camping and sports as this shows that they are not afraid to get involved, and therefore we could go on adventures together. This is still true. Qualities such as good initiative, encouraging, funny, loyal, good morals and sticks to them too, are also important in a wāhine, and that they are a good baker too.
The Flash: Honestly I thought I had this down packed until not long ago. Knowing what you want in a girl is hard especially with society forcing ideas such as skin-deep beauty. But none the less I think someone who gets my humour is a major quality, some degree of good looks but this can easily be overridden by a great personality. Someone outgoing yet being able to have those chill times without it being awkward is probably a big draw for me.
Captain Planet: Intelligence and good sense of humour.
Starlord: Confidence is big. A girl that knows who she is and is comfortable in her own skin is probably the most attractive thing to me. Intelligence is very attractive; a girl who is book-smart as well as street-smart usually wins me over. Warm-hearted, loving, generous, kind, adventurous, chill, good sense of humour, humble, respectful, family-orientated, challenging - these are a few of my favourite things.
The Flying Mexican: A beautiful smile, willing to learn, independent, joyful.
Captain Underpants: They're fun, have a good sense of humour, they love people, they don’t have to understand rugby but are just willing to sit there and watch.
Thor: These are in no particular order, and it’s a short sporadic list, because where do you stop? She likes me for who I am, and that reciprocates back at her. We share the same beliefs. We work as a team. She is: trustworthy, faithful, funny, joyous, loving, caring, ambitious, humble, and a woman of integrity. She gets along with her own family.
Professor Claw: It's weird cause it's how I'm trying to act - so I'm not sure if I'm attracted to myself or.... but anyways! A girl who can inspire me to go closer to God and to be more like Jesus - which all comes from identity. If she knows who she is, then her actions will follow. A girl who can also encourages me and thinks that I can do what God says I can do, even when I feel like I can't. She should trust God enough that she's crazy enough to do what He says. Plus, someone who is willing to change and admit that they're wrong if they are (teachable and humble).
What are your turn offs or deal breakers of us girls?
Batman: I feel it’s not what a wāhine does that is unattractive; it is what a wāhine lacks and doesn’t do that is the deal breaker. Examples of this are a lack of morals, little self-control, lack of motivation, someone who often turns down opportunities.
The Flash: Introverts are definitely one of mine I hate not being able to read people or tell what mood they are in, nothing worse then emotions flying out that you never saw coming. Next to that is politeness, I am very tight with my family so if I have someone that doesn’t show the correct mannerisms toward family and friends that’s a definite turn off. And I hate to say it but a girl that’s indecisive also sucks.
Captain Planet: A lack of sufficient knowledge about general things (as in a bimbo or ditzy chick).
Starlord: Insecurity is a big turn-off for me. I know everyone has insecurities, but if a girl is super super insecure it's a no-no. Too much makeup all the time is a bit of a turn-off too. Smoking/ binge-drinking/swearing are huge turn-offs, and coincidentally deal breakers. The biggest deal breaker is cliché but no less important - she's got to be in love with Jesus!
The Flying Mexican: My main one is if the girl is vegan or a vegetarian, that’s like a massive deal-breaker. She can’t say the v word. If the girl has way too much makeup on all the time, I don’t like fakeness. Smoking is a deal breaker too. Then there's the obvious one, which is faith. If she’s not burning for God, then what's the point? Addiction with technology I hate, like if she’s always on her phone. I would say shyness is a deal breaker too, like if they're continuously shy.
Captain Underpants: You’ll see a good looking girl and then she pulls out a smoke and its really disgusting, her language as well.
Thor: The first thing I want to know before I even try and pursue a girl, is if she is a Christian. For me, that is unconditional, and I won't even go there if that isn’t met. It may sound arrogant, but that’s my choice to make. I’ve seen guys and girls try to convert non-Christian partners (aka, flirt to convert), but this always ends up with one of the parties in the relationship having to abandon what they believe to accommodate the other, and most of the examples I’ve seen, it’s the Christian that sets aside what they believed.
Once that’s taken care of, the big turn offs for me are when I hardly know someone, and they want to jump into a relationship. This often (and I’m generalizing here) reeks of rebound relationship, or a serial dater. You’ve got to get to know someone before getting in too deep. Dating a person with my shared beliefs can reduce the likelihood of other deal breakers having to be addressed, like drug and alcohol issues, smoking, being (or wanting to be) sexually active etc. Again, that comes with a healthy dose of generalizing. Christians aren’t perfect.
Professor Claw: I wouldn't call them deal breakers, I'd call them inconveniences or hurdles, but a big one would have to be generosity. If she's not generous to others then we would have a bad time - she'd get annoyed at my giving and I'd get annoyed at her stinginess. Also, if she had a negative outlook on A LOT of things then that would get very draining and it would then cause a negative view on this life/world. Also, someone that's very exclusive and timid would get on my nerves
What are your thoughts on flirting? Is it acceptable, is it wrong, or is it okay to a certain point?
Batman: I feel that the conventional/modernised take on flirting (the exposure and presentation of the body of both males and females) is not very good. All this does is encourages the physical side of a relationship. I think that random acts of kindness and verbal appreciation are nice ways to 'flirt' with a wāhine.
The Flash: I think flirting is fine if it’s warranted. When you're both caught up in it all flirting can be great and can make a normal interaction interesting. It’s also fun- like facing your fear breaking past the safe zone and putting yourself out there. But at the end of the day you've got to be yourself. There's nothing worse than getting past the flirting stage to find you've been lead to believe someone is completely different to their true self. Flirting is great; I think there’s a big difference between flirting and creeping so be aware, flirting is the good stuff.
Captain Planet: I find it’s acceptable once you know their single, or in appropriate situations where there's not an awkward third wheel etc.
Starlord: I think flirting is quite a natural thing, but should be used with discretion. Sometimes it is fun to just shamelessly flirt with someone if you know it's harmless, and if you're genuinely interested in someone then go for it. But if it has the potential to hurt someone or cause confusion then tread carefully!
The Flying Mexican: It’s all good. It’s the way to get to a date to see if a girl is interested. Don’t be like real cocky about it though.
Captain Underpants: None of the cockiness, make sure it’s genuine, then it’s fine.
Thor: Tricky question. It depends on how exactly you define the boundaries of flirting. Different definitions range from harmless teasing, to what you could almost call seduction, as well as including just ways of showing someone that you like them. It’s something that can be semi harmless sometimes, but can very quickly take off to a place that is different. I think that this would be for an individual to judge for himself or herself, depending on how it affects them, and what the situation is that they are in. If it is causing you or someone else to sin, then it’s wrong. I think it would be a very much case-by-case thing for me, and not typically an issue. When you look at its darker, more sexual side, it is something that should be discouraged in a relationship, as it is likely to be destructive.
Professor Claw: Depends how approach it. If you're flirting because you want to get something from that person, then the person should re-evaluate and see if they're coming from a loving-intention. If they're flirting to get something so they can fill a void inside of themselves, then it's wrong again.
If you approach it from a right perspective then you realise different things. If that person that you're flirting with isn't your (future) wife/husband, then you're flirting with someone else's wife/husband and it will just create some mess that you'd have to clean up with your future wife/husband. Long story short, if nothing is going to develop then it's a waste of time. Even if there is going to be a development, then you need to approach it correctly. Flirting is fun and it feels good for a short time, but if nothing develops then you'll be left with disappointment and a mess to clean.