I’ve never fully understood how bikinis actually affected guys. I mean I knew that you males are very physical creatures, and us girls, not so much, but I didn’t quite know if girls wearing bikinis actually affected guys to the extent to which I thought they would. So I decided talk to some guys and hear their perspectives, so that us girls can be a whole lot clearer on the issue of the bikini! (Next week I talk to the girls!
1. Do you feel like most girls you know dress appropriately when in swimwear?
Carlton: I'm comfortable with my christian friends in bikinis…it’s just the normal thing to swim in I guess.
Damien: Personally I believe the Answer is NO, Girls do not dress appropriately. In 'The World'. The reason why girls wear bikinis is because it attracts the boys.... All you have to do is turn on your TV to see, shows like The G.C, Big Brother, and Geordie Shore. The Bible on the other hand talks in 1 Cor 10:32 about not causing anyone to stumble. Are you wearing clothes that could cause someone to fall into sin?
Jamal: I'd say so, I mean in Dunedin we don't exactly get into the water too often, but I think Christian girls generally cover up a bit better.
Methuselah: Yup, compared to some media. Like some girls have hardly anything on, but most girls are all good.
Rameses: Some girls wear those bikinis and short shorts, and I reckon its all good.
Raekwon: It’s hard to say, it’s like yes, but no. Yes because I’m used to bikini wear being bikini wear. But no because bikinis are probably inappropriate by church standards.
2. On a scale of 1-10 how uncomfortable would you feel if there was a girl in a bikini from church sitting in the spa with you and other people? (1- not a problem, 10- super uncomfortable)
Damien: Probably a 5. I think that fashion standards have changed a lot over the years. This might show my human nature but If I was in a spa with a girl from church, I wouldn't feel uncomfortable but I would defo look... Meaning, it's not helpful for my walk and my sister should not just think of herself when she is dressing for such a thing. I wouldn't say it makes me feel uncomfortable, it's more like it's inappropriate.
Jamal: 3/10 - I mean, as long as the bikini is appropriately sized and covering. If it was one on one it would probably be more uncomfortable, but in a group setting I think it's pretty easy to ignore.
Methuselah: 3, it would depend who it was though. If there's a history, then it could be a bit more uncomfortable. I could almost say I’m a 1 for most girls though.
Rameses: 2.9. With other people around it's not that awkward.
Raekwon: Probably like 2.
3. Do you feel like girls with smaller boobs can get away with wearing bikinis over girls with bigger boobs?
Carlton: There comes a point where it becomes inappropriate for a girl with larger boobs to wear a bikini, it would be too revealing.
Damien: Some guys like buts but me, I am a boob man... Boobs are boobs Saskia.
Jamal: I don't think so. Regardless of boob size, no girl (I don't think) is really gonna want to walk around showing of her one-piece swimsuit thing at the beach. However, girls with bigger boobs do need to be aware that they are showing a lot more, but it's entirely their choice.
Methuselah: Yup. Bigger boobs are going to draw more attention. It’s definitely more of an issue for girls with bigger boobs.
Rameses: Yeah, there’s more to look at.
Raekwon: Yes to an extent. Just because bigger boobs are more distracting, and they sort of fall out of the bikini sometimes.
4. When would it be an inappropriate time for a girl to wear a bikini?
Damien: I think we need to come back to the scripture I used earlier (1 Cor 10:32). Personally, if you are causing your brother to stumble or be tempted to fall into sin then maybe you need to look at what you wear in public... Want a tan? Do it in your own backyard when others can't see.
Jamal: I think bikinis at a swimming pool are just unnecessary. It's just way too public. Also, if you're around people who are a lot older than you - even though someone may be happily married for 20 years, chances are that a 20 year old girl in a bikini is, objectively, more attractive than their 50 year old wife. It would be nice to say that men only have eyes for their wives, but the temptation of a quick glance is strong.
Methuselah: Well at the beach and in a private setting is all good, but definitely not in public, like in a supermarket etc. If you go to a pool you’ve got to expect people to wear bikinis.
Raekwon: I just think of togs, tog, togs, undies! Anywhere out of a beach setting, or pool setting is inappropriate. I don’t want to discriminate against body size, so if you're a bit curvier, you can still go for it.
5. When would it be appropriate for a girl to wear a bikini (e.g. in a relationship)?
Damien: Again, could a brother stumble into sin because of it? - If they are married and the girl is in the spa with her husband then sure, why not. But other wise maybe find an alternative.
Jamal: I think it's okay for a girl to wear a bikini in a more private setting, when she knows and is comfortable with the people around her. I'm not sure if being in a relationship should change things, but if my girlfriend was in a bikini I know I would certainly be aware of other guys checking her out!
Methuselah: I reckon the girls can wear them whenever they want. If the girl wants to rock a bikini she can.
Rameses: As long as she’s smart about it. There's an appropriate time and place for it. You should have a moral standard.
Raekwon: I would probably be fine with my girlfriend wearing a bikini. If my head started going to a different place I’d probably just look away. To be honest a bikini isn’t an issue for me, like the first 5 seconds you see someone in a bikini you’re like “dammmmm”, but then you get used to it, so it’s not a massive deal for me.
6. If you had a choice, what would you prefer girls wear when swimming?
Carlton: Let’s stick to girls dressing themselves as they do better jobs than most guys.
Jamal: I would prefer if girls wore a one piece. There's a lot less temptation when a girl is covered up. However, there is a time and a place for a bikini, and if they're out to enjoy the sun, then I say go for it.
Raekwon: Those one pieces, like the nice ones. One pieces can be sexy. You can have a cut out, like side cut outs if you want. I feel like generally as a whole, a girl should know what's too far. If a girl wants to wear a bikini, she should go for it.
7. How do you feel when you know a girl is checking you out?
Carlton: Flustered at being taking an interest in.
Damien: Girls don't check me out... #foreveralone.
Jamal: It's a combination of kinda funny and kinda weird. I don't find it uncomfortable unless it's for an extended period of time. But if I knew the girl, then it would be really uncomfortable!
Methuselah: I’d be absolutely stoked. It would be hard to tell at first, cos girls don’t check out guys as much as guys check out girls. But if I knew she was checking me out, I’d be like “oh yeah”.
Rameses: Kinda shocked to be honest. That’s my first reaction. Then I’d be like “oh yeah, cool”. I’d be pretty happy about life.
Raekwon: I don’t think too much of it. It’s a nice confidence boost; it’s always nice to know you're dressing well. If I sense it I’m like “cool”, then I move on.
8. Do you feel like it’s more acceptable for girls to check out guys, then for you guys to check out girls?
Carlton: Girls look more deeply into a guy than how guys look at girls. So I'd say it's more okay because guys are more sexually orientated and girls aren’t. Girls just have more of a heart towards the guys heart when most guys aren’t like that, so if you find a guy who looks for the heart first… #keeper
Damien: I think It's okay to look and appreciate God's creation, but it's what you do with that. Do you entertain those thoughts? Do you lust over that person?
Jamal: Because of the connotations behind "checking someone out", ideally it wouldn't happen. I don't know what goes through a girl's mind when she checks out a ripped guy at the beach, but I wouldn't say it's any better or worse than a guy checking out a busty/attractive girl.
Methuselah: Girls can get away with it more. For guys anything longer than 5 seconds and it’s like creep. But if a girl looks for longer than that, there's not so much creep associated with it.
Rameses: Girls and boys have different views when they check out people of the opposite sex. For a guy it’s like get your tits out. But for a girl its just like ”oh yeah.”
Raekwon: Girls can be pretty dirty sometimes, so I’d say it’s pretty equal. But then I know that guys can be more ruthless…
9. Has your view of girls changed over the years as you’ve grown up?
Damien: Yes, as a child I saw girls as weird and had ‘cooties’. But now, I see girls as beautiful, precious and of value.
Jamal: Definitely! As I've matured, I've gained more respect for girls. I think it is very easy to let our minds slip places they shouldn't go. Now if I see a girl wearing a skimpy dress, or letting it all hang out, I feel for them as they probably don't respect themselves or see their true value.
Methuselah: Yeah for sure! Cooties!! I had a best friend that was a girl…then who knows when it kicked in that girls are hot, it was pretty early though. There's like 3 stages: everyone is equal, girls are gross, and then girls are hot. I was probably in the girls are gross phase for like 1 year. There could probably be another phase between girls are hot and marriage too. Like girls need to be protected and looked after, that comes along in adulthood.
Rameses: I probably thought girls were gross as soon as I was born, and now I’m in the girls are hot phase.
Raekwon: Yes, maybe stages, my relationships with girls have been good because I grew up with a mum and sister. Up until year 7 and 8 girls were just my friends. When you're year 9, girls start getting pretty hot, and you start noticing. But then I came to uni and thought all girls just wanted to be was my friend, but I was quite naïve, and girls actually wanted more. On a whole, I just treat girls as my sisters. They turn from just sisters, to sisters, which sometime can turn into potentials, but usually just sisters.