All of that is great. It actually is. But I’m sure we could all think of a girl who can’t stay single. She goes from one relationship to another, searching for love, searching for self-worth, searching for someone that will bring her confidence back. But that’s where the problems start. When someone brings insecurities into a relationship, they’re never going to be addressed properly. They may be pushed under the rug, or forgotten about during the emotions of a relationship and love. But what happens when Jackie and John break up? Jackie feels lost. She feels unconfident and insecure. So what is the solution for this problem? Find someone else that ‘fixes’ her, someone else that will love her, someone that will temporarily fulfil her.
Why can’t some girls stay single?
Her self-worth comes from guys.
She only feels good about herself when a guy likes her. She’s only beautiful, funny, cute, brave, etc, when a guy says she is. When the guy stops saying those things, or breaks up with her, she no longer believes she is any of those things.
She needs to feel loved.
She needs to feel those emotions of love. She needs to know that someone loves her. She feels lost and lonely if she isn’t loved/liked by someone.
She doesn’t love herself.
She doesn’t like who she is; her body, her smile, her laugh, her humour. She doesn’t love her personality. She needs to be loved by someone else in order to feel whole.
Being in a relationship gives her security.
She feels grounded and stable when in a relationship. Her relationship gives her something she can rely on for support, a crutch for life.
She likes the feeling of being protected.
She loves knowing that her boyfriend will do anything for her. She loves being able to rely on someone else to look out for her.
She doesn’t think that someone better is out there (so she isn’t willing to wait and stay single).
She thinks that this boyfriend of hers is the best she’s going to get, that nobody else could love her. So she settles for what she has right now. The thought of being single and having to start the dating process all over again scares her, so she would rather not go back to square one.
The point of a relationship isn’t joining two people who need support together in order for them to survive. Relationships aren’t a crutch to get through life. Break the cycle. Take some time to know yourself, know who you are, and what you need. Address insecurities, face the hard stuff. . Two half people can’t make a whole. Learn how to be whole as a single person. Be brave. x