Betty Sue: Their personal insecurities, they’re looking for external validation.
Clarence: The comfort of having someone who cares about you. Or using your significant other as a living hot water bottle - we are coming into winter.
Peggy: I think it's definitely a comfort thing. They miss not having that closeness and intimacy with a certain boy. I suppose that all girls crave it, but some just rely on it more for self-esteem and worth.
Shelby: Most likely insecurity, they're probably looking for a guy to fill that gap in their heart, to feel significant and known.
Candy: They are insecure and need someone to tell them/show them that they are loved.
Dolly: Some girls think that they can't have fun on their own, or achieve anything great on their own. They only do what their friends or significant others do, and don't have the confidence or the desire to ask themselves 'what is it that I really want to do?'
Dawn: We crave a close deep emotional connection with one person. And this is especially true once a girl has already been in a relationship. The desire has been awakened, so she really misses it when it's gone. Then a boy comes along who sparks that connection she finds fixation in, therefore she develops fixation on the boy.
What do you reckon is the number one reason boys can’t stay single for long?
Betty-Sue: For guys its kinda the same I think, men need to be needed and want to be wanted.
Clarence: Increased chances of sexy time.
Peggy: Probably the same reason as above. Also it could be a status thing, like they think other boys would look up to them more if they have a good-looking girlfriend etc.
Shelby: Maybe it's a sign of status with other dudes, having their bae haha. Probably for the same insecurity reasons as girls. Maybe they're not sure who'd they'd be as a single person.
Candy: I think boys like staying single these days?
Dolly: Some boys aren't ruled by their heads (a PG way of putting it...). They lap up the attention and love given to them by girls, and who can blame them? We're pretty great...
Dawn: Men naturally want to provide, and the female makes him feel manly in soo many different ways. Once he's already had a taste of how she makes him feel it's hard to be alone. It leaves him feeling inadequate.
Both female and male reasons are things we desire as humans, it's in our DNA, they’re good things. It's just that they are things that were created for us to keep wanting constantly which is why if not protected under marriage with the one right person for us, we are left with constant broken relationships because there is that longing that is awakened before it’s time.
What type of insecurities would you say are relationship ‘killers’?
Betty-Sue: Having low self-confidence, because that leads to jealousy and all types of nasty things.
Clarence: Lack of trust, lack of friendship, lack of thoughtfulness.
Peggy: Depending on the other person for all your self-worth. From what I've seen, the best relationships occur between people that are already happy with themselves before they enter a relationship. It's not up to your partner to fulfil you, only God can do that!
Shelby: Constantly needing affirmation in an overly intense way, not trusting your bf/gf's words.
Candy: Ummm insecurities, being unsure of how the other person feels towards you. Not feeling the love, because it isn’t being expressed in the way you personally need. Having irrational expectations of the other person (i,e trying to change them etc.)
Dolly: It does frustrate me a bit when people aren't confident in their decisions and choices that they make. When they need to justify their choice of sauce on their meal, or profusely apologise for wanting to make a stop to the toilet on an outing. In saying all of this, I wouldn't say that there is a specific 'killer', but it definitely isn't something that makes me super attracted to them either!
Dawn: Unnecessary jealousy over friendships with the opposite gender. Not being confident with themselves. Yes everyone has some insecurities, but when those are taking over the persons mind, making them feel inadequate and it's affecting the relationship, then they probably need help working through them from an outside source.
If you could say one thing to girls in a relationship-to-relationship cycle, what would it be?
Betty-Sue: “You are kind, you are smart, you are important"- The Help. I think a lot of girls don’t really believe that about themselves.
Clarence: Sometimes your own company is the best company.
Peggy: Giiiirl, you need to value yourself more. Ask God what He thinks of you, it will build you up far more than any guy could.
Shelby: Stop. Get to know yourself. Get to know Jesus and how sees you. No guy on earth can compare to the way Jesus feels about you. Any relationship on top of that is a bonus, but without it you'll constantly feel insecure.
Candy: You should think about why you keep jumping from relationship to relationship, and if it is because you are insecure in yourself. You should try and work on that rather than trying to 'fix' it by trying to get confirmation from another person.
Dolly: Go ahead and go out for a coffee on your own, watch the sun go down from your favourite lookout, solo. Enjoy the serenity, enjoy the space and don't let the fear of being alone frighten you. Take the opportunity to do something because it was something you have always dreamed of, not what your other half dreamed of.
Dawn: Use your past relationships to find what it is about guys that you like/dislike so you can better find the right guy for you. Take time to find out what the guy is like as a friend before rushing into a relationship with him.
If you could say one thing to a guy in a relationship-to-relationship cycle, what would it be?
Betty-Sue: Hurt people hurt people (stole your line), break the cycle.
Peggy: Maybe ask him to consider the reasons why he is actually getting in the relationship in the first place; make sure his heart is in the right place.
Shelby: Bro, chill. Be at peace with who you are before jumping into another relationship.
Dolly: You have the rest of your life to be in a committed, life-long relationship. Take the opportunity now, while it's socially 'acceptable' to be single. Because in 20 years, when you have a wife and children, you'll wish you took advantage of your commitment-free days to take those spontaneous weekend trips away with your buddies!
Dawn: Don't get into a relationship without the intention of dating to marry.